Published inSlackjaw·PinnedMember-onlyI’m An Introverted ExtrovertYou’ve never met someone quite like me. — I’m an introverted extrovert. Sometimes I like to be alone, and sometimes I like to be around other people. I’m a little bit different. I defy logic. I’m a living-breathing subversion. I’m strange. After a long day at work, I’ll go home and watch television with my cat. Other times…Satire2 min readSatire2 min read
Published inSlackjaw·6 days agoMember-onlyHonest LinkedIn UpdatesI walked into my boss’s office today, sat down, and outlined why I deserve a title change and raise. I didn’t have an appointment. I just pulled a chair up to the desk and started talking. I offered him irrefutable data and KPIs that illustrated how much I had impacted…Humor3 min readHumor3 min read
Published inSlackjaw·Sep 18Member-onlyI Need A Vacation From This VacationBoy, what a trip! Between the sandy beaches, the fantastic shopping, and the delicious coastal cuisine, that vacation was truly one to remember, for the most part. Now that my wife and I are back home and settling in (or back to reality as is often said) we’ve come to…Humor4 min readHumor4 min read
Published inSlackjaw·Sep 11Member-onlyI Love Jazz, But Why Does it Always Have To Be In A Park?I’m what you might call a “Jazz Guy.” For Miles Davis, I’ve got miles of respect. When it comes to Al Jolson, I always find myself jolson’ for more. Regarding Stan Getz, I stan a legend. I’ve been listening to jazz for a couple of months now, and I must…Humor4 min readHumor4 min read
Published inSlackjaw·Sep 7Member-onlyMust See Chicago (Airport) SpotsYou’ve walked the sugar sand beaches of Florida. You’ve gazed down at the grandness of that big old canyon in Arizona. You’ve even caught and ate your own lobster in coastal Maine. But this summer season, thanks to countless delays and flight cancellations, you’re going to be spending most of…Humor3 min readHumor3 min read
Published inSlackjaw·Jun 26Member-onlyI’m Your Dad And I’m Going To Give You Some Advice While I Destroy You In This Game Of HorseshoesSon, there’s no better time in a young man’s life than the age you’re at now. The world truly is your oyster. There’s nothing you can’t accomplish should you put your mind to it. I’m both envious of and excited for you. With that said, I am your father, so…Humor4 min readHumor4 min read
Published inSlackjaw·Jun 8Member-onlyThe Last 8th Grade DanceOn June 11th, 2004, Davis Middle School held its annual Farewell Dance for graduating 8th graders. Due to a combination of budget cuts, behavioral issues, and an increasing pressure to include 6th and 7th grade students in the festivities; the students, the teachers, and the parents were all aware that…Humor5 min readHumor5 min read
Published inSlackjaw·May 23Member-onlyIntroducing The Beta Barber: A Male Grooming Tool For Passive MenNowadays, men’s grooming products seem to only cater to a certain type of fella. You know, the type of guy we’re talking about. He personalizes his car license plates, plays in multiple softball leagues, and really-really hopes you don’t go back and read any of his tweets from 2011. And…Humor3 min readHumor3 min read
Published inSlackjaw·May 15Member-onlyTo Show You How Much I Love You, I Got You This Big-Ass CandleMy Darling. My Sweetness. Mi Amor. If my love for you were a tower, it would be the CN in Toronto. If my adulation for you were a famous large canyon, it would be Bryce. And if my tenderness for you were a famous Florida theme park, it would be…Humor3 min readHumor3 min read
Published inSlackjaw·May 5Member-onlyPost Writer’s Strike Improvised Television ShowsSuccession Kendall, Roman, Shiv, and Connor Roy stand together in an impossibly nice New York City penthouse. The mood is tense, but also weirdly flirty. Roman Roy: Fuckedy Fuck Fuck! Kendall Roy: We need to increase verticals on this deal. Roman Roy: Sure, Ken. Lets ahh, I don’t fucking know. …Humor2 min readHumor2 min read
