Hey Keith! I’m reaching out as it’s been a while since our last hang sesh and I thought maybe we could get together. I think we can both agree it’s been way too long! I remember last time we spoke you mentioned that it might be fun to grab some…

I’m a doctor, but I’m also an asshole. I’ll save your life, but then I’ll make you feel stupid for needing your life saved in the first place. I’m a messiah. I’m a marvel of the modern world. I’m a medical magician and my great trick is keeping you the…

Chicken Noodle Soup & Edward Hopper’s Nighthawks It’s comfort food meets comfort art. Two bonafide classics on their own, chicken noodle and Nighthawks — when brought together — result in a truly magical pairing. Hopper’s famed work has never yielded more room for interpretation than when a sizable bowl of chicken noodle has been hurled at the…

Dogs: from the latin for to love. Well, maybe that’s not a direct translation, but it certainly should be! Sorry, you’ll have to forgive me as I’m a bit canine crazy these days. You see, I recently adopted this Australian Shepherd named Maurice from the animal rescue, but if I’m…

Dear Hill Family, As the governing board of your HOA, we’re reaching out today to inform you of your direct violation of bylaw #3 as stated in our Daisy Run Estates handbook. As you and your family are new to the neighborhood, we first wanted to issue you a warning…

Captain Jack Sparrow Ahoy there, matey! Yer must not be one for the Court TV, are ye? Batten down the hatches, me thinks mom and dad aren’t paying much attention to popular culture. Kidding, of course! Hey look, I think we can both agree that neither Amber nor Johnny were without blame in…

The Axe from The Shining “That was a tough shoot, and I mean tough. Kubrick, who I firmly believe to be a genius, was exacting and demanded absolute perfection from all of us. While Shelly [Duvall] got the brunt of his abuse, Jack [Nicholson] and I were not far behind…

You’ve seen Spiderman sling. You’ve seen Hulk smash. You’ve even seen Ant Man, well, ant. But nothing can prepare you, fans of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, for what’s coming next. That’s right comic book aficionados/all-around chill individuals, we’re adapting another one of your favorite stories to the silver screen. You…

I have no friends The general lack of friends in my life is perhaps where the current supply chain issues in my life are the most evident. While my (former) friends might blame my constant lying, stealing, and generally rude conduct for them having iced me out, what they don’t understand is that this…