We Love Our Son And Support All Of His Interests

Lately our son, Brandon, has been really interested in:

1. Lacing the school’s macaroni and cheese with low-grade laxatives. Can we be sure that it wasn’t just the macaroni and cheese itself that caused those children to soil themselves?
2. Claiming his favorite subjects are lunch and gym. A child who prioritizes diet and exercise. We’ve raised a good one, Dave.
3. Drawing pentagrams on the living room wall during the night and then acting as if he doesn’t remember doing it the next morning. I actually…