I Am The Wallflower Class Valedictorian And Tomorrow My Graduation Speech Is Going To Turn Some Heads

Adam Dietz
4 min readDec 4, 2020
Photo by Vasily Koloda on Unsplash

Dan Stacy? I think he’s in my AP bio class.

Dan Stacy? Isn’t that the guy who built the robot that could read the PA announcements?

Dan Stacy? Didn’t he win some big award for debate or something?

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Adam Dietz

Comedy writer with work in McSweeney’s, Slackjaw, Points in Case, etc. Editor of the Yapjaw newsletter.