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I Am The Wallflower Class Valedictorian And Tomorrow My Graduation Speech Is Going To Turn Some Heads
Dan Stacy? I think he’s in my AP bio class.
Dan Stacy? Isn’t that the guy who built the robot that could read the PA announcements?
Dan Stacy? Didn’t he win some big award for debate or something?
Yes, yes, and yes, Michelle. I did all those damn things and then some. I’ve been quietly dominating this school for the past four years, showing absolutely no mercy, academically speaking, all while balancing extracurriculars and remaining dedicated to our community at large. Is 2,000 hours of community service a lot? Eat your heart out, Malcolm Gladwell.
Tomorrow is the culmination of my storied high school career and I intend to go out with 10 octaves and a couple of high fives. You see, while there has been no shortage of scholastic triumphs over the past four years, my social life has left something to be desired. No offense, Laurie. So when it comes time to give my graduation commencement speech tomorrow, I, Daniel Phillip Stacy, am going to leave it all on the table. Hey, I guess he was pretty cool after all. Damn, Dan Stacy can get it. Funniest speech ever. Right on all three counts, Tiffany. So with the vim and vigor I might typically attack a fundraising event for the swim team or an all night…
