Published in Slackjaw·PinnedMember-onlyI’m An Introverted ExtrovertYou’ve never met someone quite like me. — I’m an introverted extrovert. Sometimes I like to be alone, and sometimes I like to be around other people. I’m a little bit different. I defy logic. I’m a living-breathing subversion. I’m strange. After a long day at work, I’ll go home and watch television with my cat. Other times…Satire2 min readSatire2 min read
Published in Slackjaw·4 days agoMember-only5 Fun Facts You Probably Didn’t Know About Your Passive-Aggressive Friend, KeithKeith Does Not Like Doing Your Dishes Wow! This fun fact probably caught you by surprise! I bet you thought you knew everything about your old friend Keith, especially since you shared an apartment with him for two years in college. Although Keith used to repeatedly say that he “doesn’t mind doing the dishes” and that it’s…Humor4 min readHumor4 min read
Published in Slackjaw·Mar 7Member-onlyIn Honor Of My 33rd Birthday, Here Are Some Similarities Between Me and JesusJesus died at 33. Of course, that number only is relevant if you believe he ever existed. When I tell people that I, myself, am on the precipice of my 33rd birthday, Jesus’ name continues to come up in conversation. So with this in mind, I’ve decided to share a…Humor4 min readHumor4 min read
Published in Slackjaw·Feb 27Member-onlyI’ve Been Sitting Next to You While You Have a Virtual Meeting at Starbucks and I Have Some Ideas for Your BusinessExcuse me, this is Keith. Thomas just stepped away from his laptop to use the restroom in this crowded Starbucks. No, you don’t know me, but I couldn’t help but overhear one side of your meeting. I was also able to oversee your slide deck in the reflection of the…Humor4 min readHumor4 min read
Published in Slackjaw·Feb 20Member-onlyI’ll Bring The Plates & NapkinsTo AubreyJoe20@gmail.com Re: Family Dinner with Brian Hey sis! Appreciate the invitation for dinner and look forward to meeting your new beau, Brian. I know you’d mentioned in your initial email that I didn’t need to bring anything. But that just doesn’t feel right. With you going through all of…Humor4 min readHumor4 min read
Published in Slackjaw·Feb 9Member-onlyYou Can’t Put Me In A Box (Because I’ll Get Scared)You can’t put me in a box. I’m non-conformist, nonplussed, noncooperative, and not interested in anything considered traditional. I’m both an agent of change and change agent. For me, categorization is akin to euthanasia. If you even try to do it, I’ll go limp like Weekend At Bernies. I can’t…Humor3 min readHumor3 min read
Published in Slackjaw·Feb 1Member-onlyThe Definitive Power Ranking Of Numbers 1–1010. 9 — Blah. What is there to say about how bad 9 is that hasn’t already been said? Fundamentally, 9 is an 8 that someone forgot to finish. I’m betting that every night before bed, 9 wishes to whatever higher being it believes in that it was another number…Humor3 min readHumor3 min read
Published in Slackjaw·Jan 25Member-onlyThe Gap On Resume Is The Result Of A Groundhog’s Day Type SituationSo for all of the reasons outlined, I believe that I am an excellent candidate for the social media position at your company. Ahh yes, the gap in my resume. I expected this to come up, naturally. And while it’s a bit difficult to explain, I’ll do my absolute best…Humor4 min readHumor4 min read
Published in Slackjaw·Jan 16Member-onlyIt’s Me, Bob Seger, And I Swear To God This Is Probably Going To Be My Final TourYou always won every time you placed a bet! Hey gang, famed performer and musician Bob Seger here to announce that tickets are now on sale for what will be my final tour. At almost 78-years-young, I feel that it’s high-time I leave the tour-circuit behind. That means no more…Humor3 min readHumor3 min read
Published in Slackjaw·Jan 9Member-onlyIntroducing DaveAir, The Airline Specifically For DaveIt’s no secret that with each passing year the price of airfare goes up while the overall quality of the flying experience goes down. Long gone are the days of ample legroom, comfortable seating, and tasty cuisine for those traversing the skies. Nowadays, airlines are committed to giving you the…Humor3 min readHumor3 min read
